Things that have let me down
August 7th, 2008
- City Rail (aka “Shitty Rail”)
- Weight loss patches
- Applicator tampons
- Every single Harry Potter movie
- Valley Girl work-pants
- Limp Bizkit
- My childhood friend’s pledge to never ditch me for a boy
- God
- University
- Three mobile
- South Africa
- The stray dog I took in and nursed back to health, who then attacked a family friend and had to be put down. Good one, Rocky.
- Lindsay Lohan, although she is still totally fit and I want to sex her
- L-shaped nose rings
- Acupuncture
- Nylon underwear
- Flu shots
- Hillsbus
- LG
- Ciaran Leahy of late night Hotel CBD fame. If you don’t know what Facebook is (“Face what?”) you are too old to date me. I wonder whether this will come up the next time he googles hisself, if he knows how to. I do not want to sex
- Trellini’s
- Canned corn (beetle included)
- $4k worth of orthodontic work
- Berocca
- Fitness First
- Recovery Magazine
- My body
- The St John’s Ambulance staff at Livid 2004. Thanks for leaving me unconscious on the ground while my 90-pound girlfriend dragged me out of the mosh.
- Merrick & Rosso
- Alanis Morissette
- The heating in my ’89 Corolla
- The seatbelts in my ’89 Corolla
- The speakers in my ’89 Corolla
- The clutch in my ’89 Corolla
- My brother’s friend, “Donkey”, who was too fat and broke the driver’s seat of my ’89 Corolla
- Hair removal cream
- Proactiv
- Everyone I’ve ever dated
- Augusten Burroughs – I still love you though and I would sex you if you were not gay
- ILS. Why does your second album suck so hard?
- Excel
- Psyllium husks
- Limewire
- Every recipe I have ever tried to follow
- Daniel Johns – how could you get married to somebody who was not me? Let’s sex.
- E-Tax
- My gag reflex…huh??
- The Sex & The City film
- Florence. Why are all the shops closed on Sunday? Some people are a $2,000 flight away and only have one day to spend in the city.
- Yamaha
- Johnson’s holiday skin. If that shit works, I’ll eat my own head.
- Bar Bellino – what happened to your coffee??
- Bleach
- Jose Gonzales – remember what city your concert is at, champ.
- Garlic
- Palmer’s Cocoa Butter Scar Serum
- 96.9
- Sydney Community College
- Stingoes
- Nerves
- Many, many cigarette lighters
- The weather
- Google desktop
- People who can pay for their own drugs next time
- Ezibuy
- My $30 alcohol breath tester
- Spell check
- Dr King
- Caffeine
- Broken guitar strings
One Response to “Things that have let me down”
[...] Annik and Kahlee inspired me to do this. We fail and we learn. We need to learn to fail fast. Stop touting all your successes and show me your failures. Show me what you learnt. We always have top 10 lists. [...]
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