St Peter

Being the curious little tacker that I was, I once asked my father how old he was when he first got trolleyed.

“Me?” he said, “I’ve never been drunk!”

And being the adolescent pisskop that I was, I then asked him what he did for fun as a youngster.

“I once threw buckets of dirty water on my grandmother’s fence,” he confessed.

And I decided not to admit that I had stolen money from his bedroom to buy weed.