How I failed uni
I did not officially study for my Higher School Certificate, but I obtained a reasonably high UAI because I had written my maths formulae, history dates, English quotes and legal studies cases on clear plastic and stuck them on the back of the toilet door. I then stared intently at them while I crouched on the bathroom floor on early mornings, nursing the worst of my study-leave hangovers. And so, armed with these surprisingly excellent results and the world at my feet, I enrolled in a Business degree with a major in Accounting. If you had asked me why I wanted to be an accountant, I would have said something along the lines of, “I like Maths and I don’t know what else to do.” Indeed, I did enjoy the odd equation, and the approximate 5% of my course that involved Maths was reasonably enjoyable. However, the remainder of my classes and lectures proved to be rather dry, so I decided to make do with the textbooks and my ability to improvise.
This worked well for my first year and my sparkling academic record continued. However, at the beginning of 2006, my interest in the course began to wane. Depressed and directionless, I chose to spend my days drinking gin and watching Dawson’s Creek rather than studying. Miraculously, I passed my third semester, and then during the fourth, I…….failed. I went to my exams and stared at the paper and I didn’t know any of the answers. I couldn’t even make something up, because I had failed to absorb the basic grains of knowledge that I could have then elaborated on to construct some kind of response. So I handed in my blank paper, went home, poured myself a gin and tonic, and watched Dawson’s Creek.
After that semester, I deferred my course for a year, then never went back. And to be honest, the only thing I really regret is my $11k HECS debt.
10 Responses to “How I failed uni”
Pfffft, $11,000? It’s something to worry about when it hits $30,000. Becoming an engineer was not cheap.
*sighs at quantities of dosh going to the ATO*
@Fletcher – you could have put a deposit on a house. Or bought lots of coke and whores.
I don’t even want to think about my HECS debt .. Ugh, it makes me sick.
I know why you watched dawson’s creek..
Do you know, there was one exam I actually study for (I use the term loosely) but I was at that point in my university career, so goddamm lazy that I couldn’t be bothered to finish the exam paper so I left.
Yes that’s right. I had to do that subject again.
@andy – ew.
@Kate – oh dear. That’s an expensive laze. But totally understandable!
@annik – don’t fight it.
At least you failed convincingly. I always wanted to fail something at uni so I could be all self-depricating, and grease up a swell career as a Stand-Up comedian. But I did a fluffy course and passed everything totally by accident. Did fail an oral presentation once, though. Apparently 40 minutes spent joking about the Ballina Big Prawn indicated I wasn’t taking the assignment seriously, hmm.
Still, probably for the best that you didn’t stick it out till the end. Accountants aren’t dynamic people. By now you’d probably look like Therese Rein.
We must talk accounting at some stage. Yep. Almost three years of boredom before I escaped.
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