Do not disturb
The single most terrifying experience of my life was not being told I might have cancer.
It was not being followed by a car full of five naked men while walking home from the pub very early one morning, who explained that they were “going to get me.”
It was not having a seizure in the middle of the Hordern Pavillion.
It was not discovering a redback spider sleeping on my pillow.
It was not realising that my fat pants had become my everyday pants.
It was not missing an entire episode of The OC, even though I was sitting on the couch in front of the television, because I was so high on Stilnox that I couldn’t understand the concept of TV.
No.
It was finding a cockroach floating in the toilet bowl of a friend’s house after I had used the bathroom, and drunkenly contemplating the possibility that I had either ingested, or otherwise acquired such a creature and held it inside my body for an indeterminate period of time. After I had vomited and finished having a panic attack, I returned to the kitchen, where my friend asked me whether the cockroach she had attempted to flush earlier that day was still in the toilet bowl.
It was a close one.
9 Responses to “Do not disturb”
Guess it could have been an old bandaid in the toilet bowl. Or a rat.
What do 5 naked males in a car do after they realised they wouldn’t get the girl? I’m disturbed.
@Andy actually they all got out and ran down the street naked while I waited on a random porch, finger poised at the doorbell and rape whistle held between my teeth. Just kidding, I don’t have a rape whistle.
@Kate a rat would probably have given me a heart attack and I would have died then and there with my pants around my ankles.
… thus summoning the 5 naked men, who have a sixth sense for unconscious and pantsless people. Thank god it all worked out in the end!
Haha, I’ve had that happen! Except the roach was dead. So I don’t know if it was already in there, or if it actually did go through me.
Why does nothing fun like this ever happy to me. =P
Stuff like that happens to me.
Thank god for you.
You just made my day!
A fantastic entry
@Ceri I think it happens to everyone, but we don’t normally talk about it… shhh.
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