Fucked up things my brother did to me when we were kids
April 17th, 2009
- told me I was adopted.
- punched me repeatedly.
- headbutted me when he broke his arm and couldn’t punch me.
- used my skipping ropes to tie nooses and “hanged” my dolls from the curtain rod in my room, so that when I walked home from school and approached the house, I saw a mass suicide happening in my bedroom window.
- told me that I was retarded and had been inside a mental institution for my entire life. Mum and Dad were the “doctors”, my teachers and friends were “nurses” and “orderlies” or other people hired to amuse me and keep me company so I could live a “normal life.” I was so out of touch with reality that I had no idea.
- slapped me repeatedly.
- pooped in the bathtub because he knew it would uspet me. I got so scared that I jumped out and ran naked through the house, then slipped on the lino and smashed my head against a ceramic step, resulting in a wound requiring three stitches.
- pinched me repeatedly.
- held me down on the couch and farted in my face.
- cut all the hair off my dolls. Then cut off their arms and legs.
- told me that Taz, our first family dog who I only remembered vaguely, had to be put down because I cried whenever she came near me. In fact, the dog just barked too much and gave the neighbours the shits.
- sang this song constantly, often late at night, until I was driven to borderline insanity.
- kicked me repeatedly.
- called me a “fudge packer”, “back door stabber” and various other derogatory terms for homosexuals. I had no idea what they meant until late highschool.
- forced various things into my mouth, including cat food, dirt, and batteries.
- told Mum that I broke the neighbour’s windscreen, after he had thrown a brick at their car.
- gave me a noogie every time I walked past.
- told me that my high hairline/large forehead was actually premature baldness.
- told me that Stripe, the stray cat we found who was very violent and frequently attacked my bare legs, was nowhere to be seen. I would emerge from the bathroom, where I had been hiding, to find Stripe waiting outside the door, claws ready.
- gave me a wet willy every time I walked past.
- told me that Santa Claus was not real on Christmas morning, 1989. I was three years old.
What did your brothers and sisters do to torture you? Or what did you do to them, you sick bastard?
13 Responses to “Fucked up things my brother did to me when we were kids”
Tell him he looks like McLovin.
@Zac – actually, most of us called him “Harry Potter” during highschool
That’s not fair. Harry Potter ends up saving people and the world and stuff, that’s like, almost heroic. Although I guess there are all the questionable asides regarding how much he plays with his Wand. He definitely looks like he should be friends with Pretty-in-Pink-era Anthony Michael Hall,though.
Our house used to be a bank and has a massive vault in it. Reinforced concrete, with ten-inch thick doors and a steel grate. My sister locked me in once and Dad had to get the angle-grinder out so that I wouldn’t suffocate. Ah, bless.
@Helen – Kids! *chuckle* Reminds me of those stories about the kids who climbed inside the old fridges (the ones that latched closed on the outside only) and suffocated or starved to death. LOL!
My sister is blonde and me and my brother are brunette. She was born in 1988 which is the bicentary of Aus and to celebrate the govt thought it would be clever to give all kids born in 1988 special birth certificates that would cost their parents extra $$. My tight-ass parents were of the “we’ll do it later” attitude hence my sister never got her birth certificate. Beside mum’s bed when we were growing up was a triple photo frame with a photo of the three of us in the middle and one of me as a baby on the left and my little bro as a baby on the right.
We told her that we didnt have any photos of her until we got her from the agency.
Subsequently, any story mum told about my sister as a baby when we were in earshot we’d whisper to her “well that’s what the ladies at the agency told us anyway.”
She grew up pretty mentally scarred. I think she actually believed us for a while.
I had two older brothers and I was the youngest (and female). God did they gang up on me. I was constantly punched, corked and bullied. I would get back at them by trashing their room or ripping their favourite posters – but that just resulted in more arm abuse. My only escape was the bathroom which I’d have to lock myself in after they’d chased me down the hall with psychotic facial expressions. Once I didn’t get the door locked in time and my brother pushed it so hard that I went flying, leaving a child-sized hole in the wall. He told mum he had nothing to do with it and while I cried into my mother’s face, he stood behind her giving me the bird.
@Meg – wow that’s like the perfect storm. The missing birth certificate alone would be evidence enough for me!
@Penny – sounds familiar… I used to get stuck in a never-ending cycle of revenge with my brother: he hit me, so I broke one of his toys, so he hit me, so I broke one of his toys, etc, etc. I forget who stopped first… Probably me.
I hid an egg in my brother’s room (for absolutely no reason at all) and in about a month’s time, it made his whole room smell horrendous. As if this wasn’t hilarious enough (for me), my mother made him clean his room every day ”Daniel, clean your room, it smells disgusting!”. It carried on for about a week until he (literally) cried ‘I can’t clean it any more, I don’t know why it smells!’. This made me laugh so much that I was busted and had to give in and reveal the reason for the stench. “Why would you do that?” he cried…”no reason” I simply said as I went behind his bookcase and revealed the source of the stench. I know it’s evil and wrong but it still makes me laugh out loud. I think I was inspired by a cartoon in which a rotten fish was hid in the hub cap of a car.
@Sarah – hey that’s awesome, gotta love the simple forms of revenge. Just the other day, I hid cheese inside a co-worker’s desk.
When I was in grade 5 my dad moved in with the woman he left my mum for. Whenever we went over for our scheduled visits with our father we would lift up the heating vents in the floor and leave pieces of half eaten fish there. It would stink out the whole house and freak her out coz she could never find where it was coming from.
We also peed in her shampoo, cut holes in her clothes and poured some of her perfume down the sink and replaced it with water.
We didn’t like her very much.
Wow.. I sound like a diabolical child.
Meg! That’s so evil! And very excellent. Remind me to stay on your good side…
Well if you ever need helping plotting an evil plan you just let me know. I’ve got plenty more tricks up my sleeves!
My brother once hung my favourite doll from the curtain rail with my school tie. She was a black doll and he stuck paper to her chest with KKK written on it. That was 30 years ago and I have never forgotten. I still have the doll and I don’t she has either.!
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