Conversations with my mother: part one

June 24th, 2009

My mother has this tendency to try and talk to me whenever I am walking out the door, blow-drying my hair, on the toilet, asleep in bed or otherwise engaged.

Last Monday night, she waited until I was brushing my teeth before asking me if I had a good physio appointment. I gave a thumbs up.

“And did Elizabeth get my message?”

I shrugged.

“Did you have some dinner?”

I shook my head.

“Are you going to work tomorrow?”

I nodded.

“Well you’re just full of information tonight, aren’t you?”

“Woman,” I spat in the sink, “I am brushing my teeth.”

Okay, no need to be such a cow. Did you know I gave birth to you without any anesthetic? I pushed out your selfish head without so much as a goddamn epidural. And this is the thanks I get.”

random / rants - 6 Comments »

6 Responses to “Conversations with my mother: part one”

And that is exactly the type of snark I plan to aim in my kids’ directions in the next 15 or so years!

Comment by Natalie on June 24th, 2009

@Natalie – just make sure you don’t do it while they’re busy.

Comment by Annik on June 25th, 2009

Comment by niki on June 28th, 2009

Her latest is to talk to you while you’re carrying a plate of hot food, you just took out of the microwave.

The plate is burning you, and your dinner is going cold at the same time, so you’re aware of great impending pain and disappointment.

You’re just on your way out the door:
“Do you remember the Smith’s, Chris? Well, their little daughter Jenny has just been diagnosed with lymphoma.”

“Oh that’s nice…”

Comment by Chris on March 24th, 2010

@Chris – dinner trumps lymphoma

Comment by Annik on March 24th, 2010

It was going cold!

Comment by Chris on March 25th, 2010

Leave a Comment