Mum: You’re going to love Lior’s show. He is an amazing performer.
Me: Shhh I haven’t seen it yet. Don’t tell me what happens!
Mum: It’s a concert, you already know what happens. He plays guitar and sings.
Me: I said, don’t tell me.
Mum: Oh but you should make sure you cheer for the encore. He does something really cool, you’ll never guess what.
Me: He removes all his clothing and fellates himself on stage, then proposes to the sound guy.
Me: He tells us all to look under our seats, and we each get a midget to take home, then they have fireworks and ice cream.
Mum: No, stop guessing, that was rhetorical. God, you’re so weird sometimes.