Man: Based on a scale of one to ten where ten is ‘strongly agree’ and one is ‘strongly disagree’ please indicate how much you agree with the following statements.
Me: Wait, which one means agree?
Man: The bank’s customer care line staff member was able to resolve your request in a timely manner?
Me: Um.. agree. Which one is agree?
Man: So on a scale of one to ten, how much do you agree with that statement?
Man: And was the staff member able to offer you suitable advice?
Me: I don’t really think that’s applicable. I was just re-ordering a deposit book.
Man: Okay. And did you feel the staff member was able to tailor the conversation based on your banking history?
Me: I don’t know. How does that apply here? Seven?
Man: Were you satisfied that your request was resolved completely by the end of the call?
Man: On a scale of one to ten?
Man: One means disagree.
Me: Oh.. then ten.
Man: Okay, and overall, how would you rate your entire experience with the bank’s customer care line?
Man: Can you please provide three reasons as to why you have given us that score.
Man: You only gave it a nine, so I need to know why you didn’t say ten.
Me: Dude, I’m really hungover. I’m trying to eat breakfast here.
Man: I still need an answer.
Me: Fine then, change it to ten.
Me: Change my score to ten.
Man: …are you sure?
Me: Yes, I don’t want to talk to you anymore.
Man: Okay… Well, thank you for participating in the survey. If you’d like more information about any of this–
Me: I don’t.
Man: Very well. Enjoy your day.