Arsehole: Why won’t you go out with me?
Me: You’re coming on a little too strong.
Arsehole: What do you mean?
Me: Well.. it’s like when a cat is trying to sneak up on a bird. If the cat runs up to the bird, making lots of noise and sudden movements, then the bird will get scared and fly away before the cat makes it within a five metre radius. But if the cat moves towards the bird slowly and quietly, one step at a time, eventually it might be able to sit right next to the bird.
Arsehole: I don’t understand.
Me: I’m the bird.
Arsehole: Do you have any hot friends?