Girl at campsite: Ah-CHOO!
Me: Bless you.
Girl: Thanks. My hayfever is sooo bad here.
Me: Would you care for an anti-histamine?
Girl: Oh yes please!
Me: I’ve got Telfast or Phenergan, take your pick.
Girl: Phernergan? You take Phernergan? That’s used to drug children, you know. It’s used to drug them, so that they can be kidnapped or something. It’s really dangerous.
Me: So’s your face.