Things I found while cleaning the house after my birthday party

May 24th, 2010

  • one dead goldfish
  • four towels covered in blood
  • fingerless gloves
  • a broken stair banister
  • a toothpaste penis on the bathroom wall
  • vomit splashes on the cupboard doors
  • the garage door no longer opens
  • someone drank half my vodka
  • my birthday book got stolen
  • somebody pooped in our bin
regrets - 11 Comments »

11 Responses to “Things I found while cleaning the house after my birthday party”

Who invited Corey Worthington?

Comment by omegatron on May 24th, 2010

in my room there are three shoes and a witchery mens jacket.

also there should be a blue umbrella and a hat somewhere (from my friends who’ve lost them).

dan

Comment by dan on May 24th, 2010

“somebody pooped in our bin”

Gold.

Comment by Nick on May 24th, 2010

sounds like an awesome party…

Comment by Luke on May 24th, 2010

Main Concern. Someone drank your vodka.
Second main concern hopefully the whole poop in the Bin and the fingerless gloves dont go together

Comment by Michelle on May 24th, 2010

Otherthan a good sounding party… I’m quite concerned ONLY half the vodka was downed! Vodka is the best mixer – it goes with anything ;-)

Comment by GTRoberts on May 24th, 2010

[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Annik Skelton, Matt Saraceni. Matt Saraceni said: AND it will be on the action battle team on nova! RT @Neekatron: things I found while cleaning the house after #maymayhem http://is.gd/cmOKH [...]

Comment by Tweets that mention Neekersneakers » Things I found while cleaning the house after my birthday party -- Topsy.com on May 24th, 2010

No condoms – anywhere?! Bloody hell. Here was me thinking that you didn’t need any old fogeys at the party. Clearly you do.

Comment by Gabfran on May 24th, 2010

In my opinion this was all the work of one person.
Someone who had a vicious fight with your goldfish, breaking the bannister and somehow the garage door (In the midst of this they somehow lost their fingerless gloves). After having killed the goldfish they wiped off all the blood with the four towels then skulled some vodka to take off the edge, which resulted in them vomiting all over the bathroom. While trying to clean the bathroom they thought it might be funny to draw a toothpaste penis on the cupboard doors, and they were right. After all the alcohol they drank to get in this state they were too drunk to find their way back to the bathroom to take a much needed turd, so dropped one off in the bin. Then after having recovered enough they decided to leave and on the way out stole your birthday book so they could remember the night… Or try to remember it, to be honest they probably don’t even remember the party and are wondering where the fuck they scored this book from.
That has to be exactly how it wen’t down. I’m like fucking Sherlock Holmes in here.

Comment by SexyNinjaMonkey on May 24th, 2010

I can’t believe four towels were needed to clean up one goldfish’s blood

Comment by OneEyeSquint on May 25th, 2010

Sounds like the party was a great success.

Comment by ambrosemrosie on May 28th, 2010

Leave a Comment