Seven signs that you’re getting older

August 30th, 2010

I haven't been awake past 10pm since this photo was taken in 2009.

 

#1 You start thinking about contents insurance.

You don’t own anything apart from a bicycle, a Nintendo 64, and the electric frying pan with the melted handle that your mother gave you when you moved out of home.

But still.

Maybe you should insure that junk, because it’s better than having nothing, right?

It’s not.

 

#2 Your personal comfort becomes more valuable to you than looking good.

You decide that you were stylish enough when you were younger and now it’s time to be warm and have free movement of your limbs when you go out.

I assume so, anyway.

I was never stylish at any age.

I wore hand me downs.

From my brother.

 

#3 Your hangovers become brutal.

They used to set in as a gentle headache, then ease off after a strong coffee and 4 hash browns.

Now they break down your door at 7am and smash you in the face with all the force of a date rapist.

 

#4 It becomes harder to keep the weight off.

You used to eat like a 12 year old boy, but you had an arse like one too.

Now you have an arse like Jack Osbourne.

Before cocaine.

 

#5 When you buy cereal, you choose the ones that promise to lower your cholesterol.

Whatever that is.

 

#6 You start getting along better with your parents.

You realise they’re not so bad.

You stop planning ways to spend your inheritance because you don’t want them to die so much anymore.

 

#7 When someone offers you free drugs, you say no because you have work in the morning.

Just kidding.

I would never do that.

 

reflections - 13 Comments »

13 Responses to “Seven signs that you’re getting older”

For me, it’s when you stop being ID’d at the bottle-o.

Comment by ellie on August 30th, 2010

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Comment by Tweets that mention Neekersneakers » Seven signs that you’re getting older -- Topsy.com on August 30th, 2010

I get the shits if they ask for my ID, but I get offended if they don’t.

Comment by Annik on August 30th, 2010

Ditto. Guess we’re just easy-going gals. haha

Comment by jessica wood on August 30th, 2010

For me its when you talk about the old price of a Mars Bar.

Comment by Matt on August 30th, 2010

You know you’re getting old when you ask for a glass for your beer

Comment by OneEyeSquint on August 30th, 2010

For me the moment came when I got retail lust for a cushion.

Comment by swankins on August 30th, 2010

“#2 Your personal comfort becomes more valuable to you than looking good.” No, no, no, no, nooooooo!

Intervention required. You are so wearing a pair of 6 inch heels to your next night out. If it kills you, me and our mutual shoe loving friend. That is all.

Comment by Law and Shoes on August 30th, 2010

When you have a wine rack… with wine in it.

Comment by LaLa on August 30th, 2010

hey on #1, what is it when you’ve just PAID the contents insurance, see all the other insurance bills outstanding and say “Fuck this life…bring it on”

Comment by fakefranksting on August 30th, 2010

@fakefranksting – you should probably get private health insurance too because you’re Irish.

Comment by Annik on August 31st, 2010

I feel it every time I have to scroll the year when entering my date of birth.

Comment by sam on September 1st, 2010

When you realise you are having a conversation with some whippersnapper and say “Well, When I was your age” :/

Also using the phrase Whippersnapper.

Fuck.

Comment by Michelle on September 3rd, 2010

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