Literal Man, episode 5

December 9th, 2010

Literal Man decided to finally talk to the hot girl at the coffee shop, even though she was sitting with a group of friends, whispering conspiratorially.

“Hey baby,” he said in a low voice. “Wanna go out sometime?”

“I’d rather die,” she replied.

Her girlfriends laughed wildly and he joined in, lightly slapping his hand against the table.

“Seriously, fuck off,” she said.

“Oh. Okay.”

He went out to the carpark and rummaged around the boot of his car.

What a strange girl, he thought, smashing a cricket bat into her head as she exited the coffee shop.

By the time the police arrived, her face was bashed in completely on one side.

random - 8 Comments »

8 Responses to “Literal Man, episode 5”

You are obviously taking this Pineapple thing really badly.

Comment by Aleisha on December 9th, 2010

I don’t want to talk about that

Comment by Annik on December 9th, 2010

k

Comment by Aleisha on December 9th, 2010

Just a thought, does your therapist read your blog? Might help.

Also, I’m in Sydney this weekend. Want me to bring you a mango?

Comment by Matt Granfield on December 9th, 2010

Wow. I’m glad the story ended there, without literal man following any more instructions.

Comment by Kristen on December 9th, 2010

I’m conversely quite dissapointed at him not literally fucking off. Mainly because I don’t actually know what that would involve. Perhaps an addendum

Comment by Stanmore Phoenix on December 9th, 2010

I truly believe that Literal Man should be made into a television series, screening just after “Deal or No Deal”.

With special guest stars Sigrid Thornton and the fat kid from “Hey Dad”.

Comment by Paul on December 9th, 2010

Matt – I hope not. Yes. Call me!

Kristen – not really sure how that would work…

Ryan – samesies.

Paul – thank you. Me too.

Comment by Annik on December 10th, 2010

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