My parents never made me a fairy garden and I hate them

April 5th, 2011

During a recent school night session with some old co-workers, the conversation turned to growing up and childhood pastimes.

Claire: So I named my budgies Popcorn and Peanuts, and when they died, I buried them in my fairy garden.

Me: What the hell is a fairy garden?

Claire: You didn’t have a fairy garden?

Me: No?

Julia: I guess your parents just didn’t love you enough.

Claire: If it makes you feel any better, my parents eventually turned my fairy garden into a Japanese stone garden.

Me: No, that doesn’t make me feel better. I hate all your North Shore problems. I played with empty cardboard boxes and tupperware containers as a child. I didn’t even know what a Barbie was until I started school. I had a sandpit full of dirt and everything I owned was a hand-me-down of some kind from my brother.

Julia: Is that why you dress badly?

Me: Fuck you.

———————————————————————————————————–

Too many of my conversations like this. I still want that fairy garden though.

According to the internet, this is what I missed out on.

Ugh so pretty

 

Even worse

 

This is bullshit

 

Now they are just taking the piss

Ugh. My parents were soooo mean. My mother had me convinced that raw cookie dough tasted like medicine until I was old enough to wonder why she was eating it all herself if it was so gross.

Did you have a fairy garden? Or were your parents bad people too? What is the phone number for DOCS?

Conversations - 14 Comments »

14 Responses to “My parents never made me a fairy garden and I hate them”

I grew up in Mosman, and on my 8th birthday, woke up to find the rocking chair from our loungeroom next to my bed with a tablecloth draped over it, and paper ‘wings’ attached to the legs. My parents told me it was the Wishing Chair that could take you anywhere you wanted, just like in the books… (“but the chair has to back in the loungeroom tomorrow”). No fairy gardens from my childhood…

Comment by Josie on April 5th, 2011

No fairy garden for me… But my dad did catch me a couple of baby bush pigs to keep as pets. And baby magpie geese. And he bought me a pony from a traveling circus. I also had a mad Barbie collection.

Comment by miss posy on April 5th, 2011

Neekers I’m going to send through a pic of the aforementioned Japanese Zen Garden. It’s now in close proximity to the neighbours septic tank which is a bonus!

Comment by Claire on April 6th, 2011

@Josie – that is amazing. A wishing chair is even cooler than a fairy garden! Needless to say, I didn’t get either.

@miss posy – oh my god, you got a pony? This is bullshit.

@Claire – yes please!

Comment by Annik on April 6th, 2011

My parents let me ride around the camp ground on motorbikes as a young child without a helmet until i had a massive crash and nearly killed myself. I told a co worker about this and she said it was because my parents didn’t love me, that’s why they let me do it. Either that or it gave them time to have tent sex. That would explain the age gap between me and my little brother the male stripper.

Comment by OneEyeSquint on April 6th, 2011

Yeah, we called him Malcolm. My parents really loved me.

;)

Comment by miss posy on April 6th, 2011

Thanks for the warning. I’m going to spend this weekend making my kid a Fairy Garden so that she learns how to dress like a lady.

Comment by Paul W on April 8th, 2011

Fuck me, I never had a fairy garden. Fairies had power and power was either from God or the devil and there was no mention of fairies in the bible, therefore they must have been from the devil. Your parents were protecting you Annik. You must thank them.

Comment by Matt Granfield on April 11th, 2011

@Matt – actually, that’s probably the exact reason they never got me one.

Comment by Annik on April 12th, 2011

I never got a Fairy Garden either.
Also My parents stopped me from getting a Teacup Pig. They found out one of my friends dads had got me one for my birthday and banned it from coming to the house. I think it went to the Teacup Pig Farm in the sky.

Comment by Michelle on April 19th, 2011

I had a cubbyhouse with stepping stones and flowerbeds… But no fairies or gnomes as they were spiritually ambiguous/demonic just like smurfs.

Comment by Kristen on April 19th, 2011

Comment by Caveat Calcei on April 26th, 2011

Fairys are not sweet by tradition you know …they’re malicious, vicious and feral. Can steal your children and put changelings in their place or take years from your life by taking you into fairyland for what you think is only a day or lead you into the woods trying to follow them only to become lost and prey for hungry beasts. Rather sinister really though they were said to look beautiful. So obviously they wanted to get rid of the kid.

Comment by Syl Jones on June 12th, 2011

Don’t hate your parents for it, i bet they love you!
YOur fairy garden looks very nice btw, good work!

Comment by Korlas on September 25th, 2012

Leave a Comment