Conversations with Ryan: an unofficial review of Drive

Ryan: I watched Drive today.

Me: How was it?

Ryan: There’s no story, absolutely nothing. It’s a 20 minute script shot in slow motion to make up an hour and a half of footage. Mostly it’s just shots of Ryan Gosling wearing a gold jacket and chewing on a toothpick. He also walks down a lot of hallways. And there’s no driving. It shouldn’t even be called “Drive”. That’s misleading. It should be called “Ryan Gosling chews a toothpick in slow motion for ninety minutes”. If you want to know what happens in Drive, just look at the DVD cover. That’s the movie. The whole thing.

Me: I heard the soundtrack was good?

Ryan: I can’t remember, I’d have to watch it again. And that’s not going to happen because it’s fucking boring.