February 14th, 2012
- She can see photos of you fucked up (that’s a given.)
- She can’t remember her password and will get drunk at Christmas lunch and bang on about what a stupid website it is and how she’s going to ring them on Monday and tell them to “let her back in”.
- She takes ambiguous status updates literally and will complain that your cousin’s status simply said “sigh.” (“Just sigh. Nothing else. Why is she sighing? What does it mean?”)
- She calls you and asks you how to delete things from her feed once she’s read them. (“What, you mean other people’ s posts?” “Yes, how do I get rid of them?”)
- She is giddy at suddenly being privy to so much of your personal life and comments on every single fucking thing you do.
- Your creeper flatmate tries to add her as a friend.
- She emails you asking you to explain what is a creeper?
- She posts horrific anecdotes that refer to your father and her “doing it”.